I'm wide Awake, it's morning

carbon7monoxide @ 2006-02-20T18:40:00

2006-02-20T23:40:16Z

<td align="center"> Natalie --
[noun]:

An immortal

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

carbon7monoxide @ 2006-02-20T18:38:00

2006-02-20T23:38:36Z

<td align="center"> Angela --
[adjective]:

Smells like teen spirit

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

carbon7monoxide @ 2006-01-31T15:36:00

2006-01-31T20:37:10Z

Tell people about your MySpace [?]

My URL:
http://www.myspace.com/48636050

My Blog URL:
http://blog.myspace.com/48636050

grrr

2006-01-31T15:38:08Z

I hate time.. and I really don't want it to move as fast as it is....

HEY!!!

2006-01-20T04:37:34Z

If any of you have My space you should add me....

I'll tell you how later, because I don't know my name thingy... or whatever

peace homies <3

carbon7monoxide @ 2006-01-19T16:21:00

2006-01-19T21:23:55Z

So.. I don't remember everything I did last night. *thinks really hard*

oh well

drunk topic

2006-01-13T08:16:56Z

The top people in my life.

( Nat and Jordan were discussing there top 5 people in there life. I would feel mean or somthing if I didn't put everyone so.. yeah)

Family-

Mom
Sister
Grandad
Dad
Brendan

Friends-
Michelle
Daniel
Josh
Jordon
Brandon
Holly

Sorry ... please don't hate me

Other totally Imp people in my life are...

Chelsea
Amanda
Thomas
Vickie
Annette

There are more but

Chelsea I am doing this for you darling.....

2006-01-13T05:27:54Z

okay.. So I've had a pretty eventful couple of days.... I'm sure you'd all love to know.

So I was a little sick, I'm feeling better though, obviously, I'm drinking a beer right now.
I started school this week, and I've actually been good about doing homework.. I deserve a pat on the back or something for that. School is great!!

Right now I am hanging out with Natalie, Jordan, and Brandon. We're drinking beer and watching Fear Factor. Nat just helped me out with creating a my space... so you guys should add me if you have one.

Umm.. So I hung out with Josh today. It was great!! We had so much fun! It was nice to catch up...and stuff. His new gf seems cool.. I guess. A little weird.

I thought I had more to say but I don't, because I need to drink my beer.

Love you Chelsea!!! hehe

bored at school...

2006-01-11T16:12:05Z

Well I went to Stress Mgmt already.. Now I'm bored. I don't have class again until 6pm. I seen Josh, but I decided not to stop and talk. I ran into Jim Lester and Tim Moyer. They are actually pretty nice. I talked to them for a while... We debated on ways to get Brandon Bliss back into school... sigh.

Now I'm waiting for the other Brandon to call me so we can hang out. No idea what we're going to do, but anything is better than just sitting on campus, I'll be bored with this computer in about...
5
4
3
2
1

Love you all buh bye

Happy Late Holidays

2006-01-11T02:05:01Z

Well I started school today. I love my psych class. I love Jordon and Brandon and Holly. I hung out with Jake Martin for the first time last night..

Thats about it.

I think I finally might be out of my lj phase.
haha

carbon7monoxide @ 2006-01-10T20:42:00

2006-01-11T01:42:29Z

1. Name:
2. Date of birth:
3. Where you live:
4. What makes you happy:
5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:
6. Do you read my journal?:
7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/do you have a crush at the moment?:
10. Favourite place to spend time:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. The best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song, or album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends:
4. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you

Up and Down the River...

2005-12-16T05:55:13Z

I am so happy that this semester is finally over. I have aproximately three weeks to work, save up money, and relax. I'm almost finished Christmas shopping. I need to get my lil sis a few more things, x-mas cards to send people, and my dad. (Though he still will not talk to me)

I celebrated the end of the semester last night with Brandon, Jordan, and Holly! Dan stopped by for a bit, but couldn't drink with us because he actually had to WORK in the morning. I'm so happy he finally got a job! Ugh! We drank a case of budlight, a 12 pack, and half of another case. I tried to watch the new Batman movie but fell asleep with my head on Jordan and my feet on Brandon. Those boys snore so loud!! And they wonder why I never stay with them when I drink.. Fuck that, I can go home and sleep in my big bed, by myself... with only my drunken snores.. which won't wake me up. It was a fun night though, we played Up and Down the river and Euchre. I know we watched t.v. but the only thing I remember is some weird show with letters fucking. Maybe it was just my imagination though... hmm..

I've decided I am going to quit smoking FOR REAL over these few weeks I have off. I hate smoking anyway. I think I do it just because it's something to do. I'm tired of coughing and smelling bad all the time. So bleh.. I hate you cigarettes.

Amanda, Chelsea!!! I would really like to hang out with you guys sometime over my winter break. Sorry I've been a little out of touch. Give me a call! BOTH OF YOU!!!

k..bed time. g-night.

Oh I just love the snow!!!!

2005-12-09T19:45:22Z

Dude.. I have the greatest proof that I love my Stephy a wwhhhhhoooooollllllleeeee BUNCH!!!! I drove to hang out with her in that horrible snow storm.

I LOVE YOU STEPHY!!!!

Then Stephy, Shawna, Kieth and I drove around in that shit for like two hours. Bleh... It was kinda fun.. Kinda gave me a headache though.

I need to find a guy from Texas or something... *Thinks about two Texans she knows that are whipped*

Hmm. Wonder who they could be?

lol. k... time for work.

carbon7monoxide @ 2005-12-08T17:09:00

2005-12-08T22:10:56Z

YAY!!! I'm going to hang out with Stephy!!!

carbon7monoxide @ 2005-12-06T22:33:00

2005-12-07T03:33:51Z

daniel if you read this, i am very angry at you!

donno.. just donno

2005-12-07T03:33:14Z

My brain is doing it's old half and half thing again. Half of me is soOOoo immensly happy. Part of me trusts everything you do and say. That part of me keeps telling the other part to just settle down, let things work out themselves. I should just accept the way things are, because that is just how things are.
Now. The other half of me on the other hand, is completely opposite. She is tired of wasting her breath, knowing you probably don't care. Completely tired of getting nervous everytime I get the gutts to call you or that rare occasion when your name pops up on the caller id.
I don't think you care at all. One of those parts of me doesn't think you ever did.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just tell you to fuck off.

I need to vent...

2005-11-14T03:56:12Z

Ugh. It's aprox 11 pm. I have two papers to write, that are absolutly due tomorrow. I wish this weekend could magically last longer. Things have been shitty in my life, real shitty; now it just seems like this long downward spiral. Maybe I am not bi polar at all, maybe life is just so messed up, everyone fucking is.
I don't want to bitch. It's not going to get me anywhere. I'm done, damn it. UGH!

carbon7monoxide @ 2005-11-10T13:23:00

2005-11-10T17:44:21Z

Okay, well things haven't gotten much easier in life. My stress level is still about the same. I'm just trying to focus on one thing at a time. I'm sure it will all work out eventually.
Number one: Finish my English paper. Actually, homework in general. I feel a lot better about my English paper, because I went in and talked to my professor. I'm really happy that she still had faith in my writing, because I was beginning to lose mine. I have to write a history essay. Why? Well that is a good question. I think I should just write about how I haven't learned JACK SHIT! ugh. Then I have a couple sociology papers I need to work on. Luckily, Loren is ssoooooo nice and said I could turn them in whenever I get the chance.
Number 2: Work, I have to work tonight, and tomorrow morning. So that either means I could do equal amount of work, or save most of it for tomorrow... eh. I think I'll bust ass tonight.
Number 3: Cleaning my room and finally finishing my laundry. Cleaning out my car.

I have almost a month off of school before I start winter classes. I am so excited. I am going to try to work a lot because I am going to have to pay for my books this semester. I'm going to take some time to myself for a few days and relax or do something fun. I might go out to CT and visit Michelle, Vickie and Matt.

oh looky here, i gotta bite

2005-11-08T02:31:08Z

Well I wasn't supposed to be dropped from my Sociology class! Whoot! I would have been really sad if Loren dropped me. I am actually doing better in that class then I am in any other. I need to turn in my papers though. It's nice that Loren is really lieniant about shit.

Talked to Josh today. I guess he's leaving Friday to go up north. Way WAY Up North... UP up north. *shakes fist at him* I want to go up North, get away from everyone, play with guns, bows, and drink lots of beer. He's lucky. Instead of envying him, I bought a cd and made him a copy! Ha! I'm such a weirdo.

I worked at the bar sat all by myself! It was so awesome. I hope Annette schedules me again!!

blah. i'm going to play cards

How about a happier update, eh?

2005-11-03T07:29:02Z

Soo... I don't remember if I wrote about this already, but Sat I went to Daniel's Halloween Party! It was pretty fun. I went to the ol Fordyce house and hung out for Josh.. oh for aproximately an hour. All that crazy kid talked about was hunting. It was cute though, it a weird, almost morbid way. lol.
Sunday... umm I don't remember what I did on sunday. I guess I'll figure that out later.
Monday at school my car died, Josh jumped it for me. It was halloween and we decided that was a good enough reason for us to drink. I went out to his house at about 8:30... and by 12 am when I left, I was pretty drunk. I don't even remember what that kid and I talked about. lol. I know it was a so much easier to hang out with him, even be around him, when I was drunk...

Wow.. my life is so interesting huh? lol

Yesterday, I hung out with Kristie!! I missed her so much, I hope she comes back to work at the VI.

blah. I don't feel like typing anymore lol

wish i could breath but...

2005-11-03T07:10:44Z

I am so tired of peoples fucking bull shit. There is one person, that seems to have fallen victim to my rant especially, tonight. I am not going to name any names, because I do not believe it's right to talk shit about someone on a stupid live journal.
This is only a rant.
I am so fucking tired of people thinking that nothing they fucking do to me matters. I'm even more tired of people, not directly lying to me, just happening to leave out the truth. There is no room for other people fucking bull shit in my life. I've got enough of my own drama and all that crap. I don't need any of anyone else's bull shit in my life.
So.. if you're going to fucking try to play games with me, and you're going to lie, or do anything that you know would piss, you yourself off, FUCKING STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!
I'm tired of being nice. I swear to God, yes, I do. The next person to even try to fucking piss me off is going to get slapped right across their fucking face.

midnight skies, a cigarette, and some beer.

2005-10-31T00:09:44Z

This weird, in between phase that we are in, seems like it might be more trouble than it might be worth. I want this 'something', i'm not really sure what it is, to work so bad. I wish I could tell you that I am going to stick with you through everything that you're going through. I wish that you would talk to me and tell me what is going on in your head. I know there is something.
Even though it hurts me every time you look into my eyes, because I know I can not kiss you. Your laugh is so magical, but lately everytime I hear it, I want to cry.
I wish I could tell you how hard and easy this is.
But I am going to shut up.
I'm going to tough whatever this is out, because I know how I really feel about you.

What a crazy past couple of days it's been...

2005-10-27T00:54:20Z

I don't even know where to begin. Right now, I don't know if I am just extremely happy, or if I am just having a manic phase.

I am so bi-polar it's not even funny.. Well actually it is. haha.

So yesterday, I got into with my dad. I'm not going to tell the whole story, because it was just the same bull shit as it's always been. Needless to say, I was kicked out of my house. I stayed the night at Dan Pratts last night. That was crazy. I was drunk too. I downed about 8 beers in probably an hour and a half. Then Dan and I got in his hot tub, which totally intensified my drunkeness. I have to say I think I'm still pretty responsible when I'm drunk. The whole time I was worried about how I would get to school today. Since I was drunk, I mustered up enough courage to call Josh. He didn't answer, disappointed, I left a voice mail. I didn't think he'd call me back. But OH! Guess what?! He did!!! *insert scream of excitement here*

He came and picked me up for school. It was so nice to climb into his truck again. It was so nice to get into a vehicle with country music playing!!! He's still the same silly redneck boy that he's always been. I loved every minute of being with him!
Is that pathetic...? I'm just going to say no for now, just to make myself feel better.

I think things have cleared up between us. We talked about what happened. He cleared up why he told me I was a liar. He said it was because I lied to him, telling him I'd never do drugs again. Then I did and called him while I was on them.

I felt like an ass.

Hopefully it will all work.

I honestly could die so happy right now. Just seeing him and being able to talk to him made me so happy its crazy.

*sigh*

I just don't know what to do with myself.

Anyways.. I'm back home. My mom wouldn't let my dad kick me out. He's pissed though, he won't talk to anyone.

Ugh!

It's okay though.. I'm so high on nothing that no one can bring me down.

almost gone, just a little bit further.

2005-10-25T06:33:24Z

I saw a dead deer today out at fishville lake today. It had been shot by someone, it didn't look like it'd been shot with an arrow though. Maybe a bullet? I'm not quite sure. I don't know if you're aloud to hunt at fishville lake? I guess I should have checked that out when I left. Anyways, this deers head was sliced clean open. A clean slice, I could see it's brain.

It was a little morbid, but I took pictures. I want to ask a real hunters interpretation of what happen there.

I know I am pathetic. Well actually, only slightly, compared to the way I was before. But if I've ever had past feelings come back, now is the time.

I've become a full out insomniac, again, pretty much.

Ugh. Its just been a long day.

I need to just hang in there, and it'll all turn around.

The only thing left on my body is an impression of you...

2005-10-24T02:43:00Z

I have 6 hours worth of homework to get done before 9 am tomorrow. I'm so excited.
Actually no I'm not. I'm so pissed off at myself. I know I did this to myself.
I am so stressed out.

GAH!!